I'm a little more than seven months in with this "wider passageways in my face" setup, and it hasn't been all teacakes and poodles.
In June, I began waking up with nosebleeds and pounding day-long headaches in the morning. So, I did what any sane person does in the age of the Internet and Googled my issue so I could accurately self-diagnose my nose demons. My hunch was that my membranes were dry and cracking. So, we bought a humidifier. Now, this perplexes the ever-loving-snot out of me because we live in HOUSTON, humidity capitol of Texas. You mean to tell me that with 100% humidity outside, my membranes are crackin'? Yep. Indoor air upstairs in our house is hot and dry.
The first night was awkward. Once the humidifier began to "work its magic," my nose decided to fall in line and get back to mucus production on the regular. But imagine a water hose that you've stepped on, and now, imagine that no one truly bothered to turn the source of the water off, and then suddenly, the foot was removed. Granted, no feet were in my nose, because--that's insult to injury--but all it took was a little humid, and then BAM. I would feel a cool tingle in my face, sneeze, and be covered in snot that I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED. Thanks to modern science and surgery wonders, my face is now its own water tower. Thanks, science and $3k!
It gets better. Not only is my mucus production back in full swing, but it has a mind of its own. I can look down, and suddenly, anything below my chin is slime-coated without warning. I joked about a super power in my last post. The universe, in its hilarity, has answered my request. The joke's on me, and my shirt...and my chest, the remote, the cat, my hair...
Now if only I could market this superpower as a contraceptive measure.
