One week: Newfound nose, blood slugs

It's not quite been a week, but we'll call it that since the cusp of Monday is imminent.

Having an operable nose is something of a delight, but as I've discovered, comes with considerable responsibility. First, my nose is playing this dastardly game wherein I smell nothing, then suddenly am flooded with too many smells, feel dizzy, and rush through a place just to get its scent out of my nostrils. The laundry aisle at HEB was Hell, I tell you. 

Yesterday, I enjoyed quick pulls of cool air into both nostrils. Today the air is still crisp feeling, but it hurts my head.

Smells aside, there's keeping my sinus passages sterile through a twice to thrice daily nasal rinse. Enter the blood slugs. Or rather, exit. What are these delightful creatures? "Blood slugs" are what I've taken to calling the reddish/green globs roughly the size of garden slugs that drain from my face when I rinse.

Yes, they gross me out.

Yes, I'm calling the nurse tomorrow.

My head feels as if it's about to explode and has worsened since the last slug. Will I die tonight in my sleep? Ugghh. Perhaps a pain pill is in order.

Day Five: Part Deaux

My friend Jennifer took me to the doctor this afternoon, and got a backstage pass to my face circus. What a great friend to still love me after this!

The doctor suctioned my nose--and that's aptly named, by the way. The sound of dried blood, mucous, and a combination wad of not so dry sludge filled the office as the instrument slurped off my face.

Imagine my surprise when I was informed that was merely round one! Ho, ho, you silly doctor, right? Um, no. 

Round two began with lidocaine, a snipping of the stitch--mf, ow) and an extraction of the splints (envision birthing two pillars from your face and thinking, "I must be Mary Freakin' Poppins to have mastered the art of smuggling those gems up there this week!") followed by an alien probe that sucked out my brains. This was the most uncomfortable part of the procedure. But look how much happier I look! (Look, ma! No brain!)

Then the doctor encouraged me to take a breath, to which I incredulously replied, "Through my nose?" 

Yes, genius. Your nose.

This breathing through two adjacent face holes gig is pretty sweet. Nose breathers, I am among you! My lip is still numb, and my face still feels as if a horse has kicked me in the teeth (that's out of line, horse), but otherwise, I am healing nicely.

The doctor gave me a saline rinse to use twice a day until some other rinse and ointments come in.

I return for my next appointment in three weeks.

Day Five: Part I

My body's been noticing the sleep deficit. As per usual, time with Nick once he gets home from work always feels too short, so I push myself to stay awake to be near him (even if he's sleeping). 

Thus, I attempted the bed again last night, but must have some "drown in my own nose blood" fear because my sleep quality was terrible until I returned to the couch. It's also possible the hydrocodone is making me paranoid. 

Today is the big day: the splints come out and the nose is cleaned! Why I didn't have the foresight to schedule an earlier appointment, I do not know. I am told the congestion will mostly vacate at this time. I hope what I've heard is correct.

Additionally, Mid-last night I had the strangest sensation: cool air filled my nose. I have never felt anything like this in my life. It's been in the 60s lately, so this isn't weather. Is this what oxygen in my nostrils feels like? I also faintly began to smell some things yesterday: the soap upstairs, and a nibble of Nick's Hershey almond bar. 

For posterity's sake, there needs to be full disclosure: this has zero to do with my nose but everything to do with general state of feeling. Wednesday, my menstrual cycle started. Lucky me, right? Women, if you have this surgery and this befalls you, I'm sorry. I find this tends to be an issue of apples to oranges among us: where one is monstrous and others are no big deal, mine fall somewhere in the middle. It has contributed to my feeling more worn down, I think, but I am thankful to be getting all of this "out of the way" in one go.

I'll be sure to update this afternoon after my appointment.

Day Four: Nose Gone Wild, Bandage-Free (for now)

After attempting to sleep in my bed last night and failing miserably, I ended up back on the couch around 3am. Our youngest cat was sick everywhere, so my comfy nest had to be stripped and I had a barebones blanket leftover.

I conked out at 3:30 and have a vague recollection of Nick kissing me on the forehead as he left for work.

At 9, I stirred and decided it was time for breakfast. Today's breakfast was a pudding cup and some toast, followed up by an orange pedialyte, 'cause that's how I roll. A side-effect of the methylprednisolone is itching like crazy, but it dies down when I eat something with it.

I took off the bandage in the middle of the night since I was uncomfortable. So far, I have not had the need to bandage back up but I might in a few for some worry-free napping. Everything seems to have dried up. Also, I can smile ever-so-slightly without hurting, so I'm counting this a win.

That's not chocolate. Sorry.

Day 3 Continued! Christmas at the Hesters'

The nose and I got dressed up today a little after 1pm and visited some friends in Richmond. The nose behaved except for some goo that stayed under wraps.

Good friends, good food, and two sweet babies. I barely did anything and I am wiped out! I will sleep well tonight for sure.

All this excitement has opened up my nose a bit more and made my front teeth ache, but it was well worth it to be social for a few hours.

Aside from seeing people and being able to spoil my jewel of a husband, there was also Gettin' Ziggy With It (my Lush dreidel full of bath treasures! --I am assured they smell great, and who knows? Maybe in a few days, I will be able to verify this.)

See y'all tomorrow!

Day Three: Christmas Day

After being wide awake for the majority of yesterday, I am paying the price today with exhaustion! Also, my nose is a good deal bloodier today. I'm attempting to get it to clot, but it is super sensitive to the touch. It's also a little more swollen. Glasses pinch a little.

I woke up at 6am, showered, then laid back down and slept another three hours. Saint Nick came downstairs, made a nice breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. We watched the Black Adder Christmas Carol then opened presents.

And now I'm ready for rest again. May your day be restful and merry. I leave you with my cutie pies. 

Day Two: Potentially the Day I Rip Out My Throat

So sleeping last night semi-sucked. Once I found a decent sleeping position, I got a good four hours' worth, but at the expense of drainage that required me to expectorate bloody mucous. 

Having the foresight that this would happen, the doctor prescribed me an anti-nausea medication. However, I find taking it makes me nauseous. On what planet does that make any sense? 

I waited for Nick to get up before changing my gauze. Prior to the switch, I snapped a shot. The pic on the left was taken 12/21/13, the afternoon of my cousin's wedding. I still don't see much difference, public presentability aside. My nostrils may be slightly swollen near the top going near my eyes. I applied Bacitracin to the entrance of my nostrils before putting on a fresh trifold of sterile gauze.

My nose burns now; the good hospital drugs are gone from my system, so the  sensations are more intense: nasal passages burn, splints afford me some breathing capability but not much, nose is stuffy and full of treasure, but I cannot blow it. I'm sipping ice water and letting a throat relief pop melt in my mouth. The package  boasts great-tasting flavors, but all I can taste now is "indiscernible sweet." 

Post-Surgery Day One

I have about an hour to an hour and a half until my pain pill kicks my behind back into sleep, so I'm reporting.

Pre-op began around 6:30 a.m. They collected urine, had me change into my gown, some dead sexy socks with grips on the bottom, and a blue cap. My gown and blanket were heated beforehand, which was a relief because it was chilly. They then took my vitals and attempted to get my I.V. started. Three pokes, three nurses, and an anesthesiologist later, it wound up in my foot, which really wasn't as bad as it may sound. Plus,my anesthesiologist complimented my foot tattoo! Way to keep it human, man. It's the little things, you know?

My husband came to see me and snapped this goofy pic.

He's got jokes, y'all.

Shortly thereafter, Dr. Johnson visited with us, talked again about the procedure, expected time, post-operative care, and answered any questions we had. My procedure was bilateral (both nostrils) and lasted about 2 to 2.5 hours.

Because I was sporting the foot cable, I went for a wheelchair ride to the OR. Once in, the crew helped me up, introduced themselves to me, and the anesthesia was delivered. The last thing I remember before waking up in recovery was telling Debbie, a nurse, how much I liked her funky, pink and black zebra-print Santa hat.

An hour after waking, I was released to go home. Nurse Nicholas, the husband, fed me grape Jell-O and my first round of pills, and I slept in my nest of soft, elevated pillows and cozy blankets.

Here's the face: 

 I'm not sad that I'm really not swollen or bruised. They didn't have to break anything internally, so they didn't expect I would have those. What you don't see are my two splints and the dissolvable packing inside my schnoz. My nose only mildly burns when the pain meds begin to wear off. The gauze is slowly collecting blood, and I have only replaced it once, around 5:30 pm. I will take it off tomorrow to snap a better pic.

I go in and out of feeling pretty much like my usual self to snoozing and feeling totally wiped. 

Nick brought me Sonic ice, which has been a blessing on my throat which is still sore from drainage. Additionally, I ate chocolate pudding, and then instant garlic butter mashed potatoes. Flavors are faint, but present. 

Right now, I have a sentry lying guard.

My goal is gumbo with the Hesters on Christmas Day. This may be a bit ambitious, but....GUMBO.

Can I get an Amen? 

The Day of Surgery: Pre-Operation

I write from the downstairs couch. It's a little maddening to be awake; I went to bed around 9ish last night and have been awake since 3:50 this morning. Everything within me screams to enjoy being horizontal while I can, and in my own bed. 

My "recovery nest" of elevated pillows and blankets will be downstairs on the couch near the TV (see also: Netflix list) for starters, though logistically in reference to the only bathroom (upstairs), this is a pickle. I am hoping that maneuvering upstairs to use the restroom won't be an ordeal, or else plan B will be to relocate the nest and read from our bed. 

Because I know it will come up later, I've snapped a photo of my normal everyday face. This can be a bit misleading--my typical face is accompanied by glasses and makeup. Before we leave, I am to wash with only soap and use no moisturizer.My final concern is waking up thirsty and being unable to drink anything. This is a minor complaint, but dry mouth is a bummer. 

See you on the other side!

The Day Before Sugery

Friends, followers, and future me: Today, I am starting a blog about my upcoming nasal surgery so that I can look back on this occasion and realize, hopefully, the difference it has made for my quality of life.

The Surgery Tomorrow at 7:45 am, after having eaten and drank nothing after midnight (but taking my blood pressure medication), I will undergo a procedure to have my deviated septum corrected, a partial turbinate reduction, and my sinus passages opened. Currently, my septum presses against my right turbinate. When I get sick, which is often and prolonged because my nose doesn't drain properly, not only is it a big gooey mess, but those turbinates swell making life hell by sealing off my breathing passageways even more.

On a healthy day, I am only severely congested, waking up with a heavy mucus stuck in the back of my throat that no amount of coughing really helps alleviate or dispel. I also have a difficult time with physical activity, getting winded quickly due to lack of quality breathing. Additionally, I snore at night and often stop breathing. I am a mouth-breather and have been one since at least my teenage years, if not before.



While it is my hope that with this surgery, I will be able to say my apnea goes, too, if it doesn't...well, that will be a bridge to cross then. My apnea, I've found, is more manageable when my head is elevated on 2-3 pillows and I use a saline spray.

Tomorrow, I start a journey that, from what I've heard is extremely painful and requires considerable healing time but is well worth it.

In all honesty, I'm feeling both ready and nervous.

My doctor's office has more than prepared me for this with a viewing of a maxillofacial CT scan of my face issues, videos of the procedure, and pre-op Q&A's. I have filled my medications: an antibiotic, something stronger than prednisone, and a quality pain pill that I had to sign for at the pharmacist. Today, I enjoy tasting food and get some soft food such as Jell-O, macaroni and cheese, and the like stocked in the house.